I was reminded how fragile relationships can be when a friend phoned, devastated and confused over the ending of a three year relationship. I know what it's like to have your heart ripped wide open. To feel your world fall apart with one devastating blow. To be so empty that the world outside yourself is a foreign place. To feel so isolated and alone that your world stops and time stands still.
I'm sure everyone has felt the pain and heartache of love gone wrong. It touches all of us, young and old alike. I guess the question is, do we create unrealistic expectations of what we want in a partner? Or do we settle for less than our ideal vision of a perfect love connection?
So, what does make a relationship last....the till death do us part kind? Maybe what's more important is recognizing when a relationship ISN'T working and knowing when to throw in the towel. Most people would rather put their blinders on and pretend problems don't exist, or live in a love/hate world because the fear of being alone or starting again is too horrific to even imagine. Just think of the couples you know, going through the motions but living a lie. Pretending because it's easier that way. Sure, some of those couples could benefit from counselling but for most of them, the time for that has already come and gone.
I've always liked the illustration of the Hermit Crab. Hermit crabs grow out of their shell and move to a larger shell or they will die. Sometimes a relationship serves it's purpose and it's time to move on, otherwise we slowly die inside, or our partner does.
It's interesting that every single relationship we have is a reflection of how we feel inside about ourselves. Think about that. So why do we waste precious time when someone makes us feel bad? We have a choice. Do you let fear, guilt or scarcity keep you a prisoner or do you break free, take control over what happens to you and live the life your were meant to? We expect others to behave in a way we want so we can be happy, but you alone control your happiness and it is a choice!!
The people we've had relationships with, regardless of how long it lasted, come to us for a reason.....to teach us or to assist us in fulfilling our destiny. It is senseless to blame or criticize yourself or your partner. Know that you are worthy and deserving of love and it will come again.
Remember.....you are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings. So..... Love Yourself!! Deeply!! Profoundly!! Make lists of the hundreds and hundreds of wonderful things about you. Add to it every day! Know you are perfect. Make your happiness the number one thing in your life (it comes from within). Get your attention off those things in others that don't make you feel good. Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can!
Life is not over, even if it seems that way. Grieve, let it all out and then let go. Take the action necessary to move on because new beginnings, with all their joy and wonder, are just around the corner!!
And to my dear friend who's world fell apart, I love you and know that your sun will shine again!!
