For many years my past held me captive. I allowed past failures, mistakes, circumstances and pain define who I was. I held on to sorrow like a best friend, reliving every painful moment, over and over. What If? If only..... My wounded past held me prisoner.
It isn't easy to forgive when your heart is full of pain. Anger, resentment, abandonment, worthlessness....these were feelings I was familiar with, especially where my Father was concerned. After he died, I felt so betrayed. I couldn't think of him without feeling rage. It was much easier to avoid my feelings, lock them away and throw away the key.
It isn't easy to forgive when your heart is full of pain. Anger, resentment, abandonment, worthlessness....these were feelings I was familiar with, especially where my Father was concerned. After he died, I felt so betrayed. I couldn't think of him without feeling rage. It was much easier to avoid my feelings, lock them away and throw away the key.
What changed? I guess time healed my heart and I realized my father was human. Human just like me, with faults and misgivings. He did the best he could, even if I thought his best wasn't good enough. I admit I judged him harshly and I regret that. I think we all expect our parents to be perfect and never to disappoint us. To this day I don't understand his reasons for what he did but now I can accept him for who he was and I can love him again. He had his own earth journey to travel, his own paths to choose. Our decisions can impact others in an unpleasant way but at times I believe they are necessary for all of us to learn, to grow, to be enlightened in our life.
I'm certainly not perfect. Many of the choices I made in the past were selfish. Choices I made for my own happiness. Choices that hurt others, changing their lives forever. My happiness came with a huge price. I blamed others, I blamed myself. I was wrong thinking forgiveness was contingent on first being forgiven by others and then by "fixing" things to make them right. I had a lot of experience with fixing things. The Truth is, some things can't be fixed, no matter how you try.
When we do everything possible to make right our mistakes and it's still not accepted, we need to let go, to surrender. If you don't the sadness, guilt, anger and anxiety will eat you up inside and block the thing you most want to attract.....love. Through forgiveness I gave myself permission to love myself because I am worthy!! You are too!!
When you resolve to forgive yourself and others, you choose to live in the Present and accept life as it is Now. It wasn't until I could forgive myself completely that the direction of my life really changed. It gave me the opportunity to stop being the victim.
Everything has a purpose. Our earth journey teaches us what we need to know. Embrace that knowledge and when it's necessary, Release, Let Go, and Move On!
Watch this great video: http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/forgiveness.php
